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Ever wonder what your life will be like when you're old? It can't possibly be better than your younger years, can it?
Think again.
History is full of examples of older achievers, people who didn't let age keep them from doing great things.
Ronald Reagan served as president in his 70s and was so efficient, he often managed to dress himself. Just as
surprising to political observers, Reagan was extremely active and often jogged all the way from the front of the
White House to the dining room. No shortcuts through the kitchen.
Yes, despite his advanced age, Reagan effectively handled the top job in America, partly because he never forgot vital
information, such as the shortest route to the bathroom. In fact, his memory was so good, whenever he met an attractive
intern, he remembered he was married. That's the type of memory more people should have.
Then there's the legendary astronaut John Glenn, who returned to space at age 77 -- more than three decades after
his first mission -- and managed to return to Earth in one piece (two, if you count his dentures). He became the oldest
person ever to travel into outer space, and, who knows, perhaps even the baldest. I mean, boldest.
And what about writer E. Annie Proulx, who became a novelist in her 50s and won both the Pulitzer Prize and National Book
Award in 1994 for "The Shipping News." While some people her age are signing retirement checks, she's busy signing
autographs. Retire? Maybe in a couple of decades, when she's tired of being rich and famous.
Considering that many people are overachievers in their 50s, 60s and 70s, it's amazing how common age discrimination is,
especially in the workplace. So many employers seem to prefer hiring young workers, missing out on the strengths of
older workers, strengths such as discipline, experience, reliability, and wisdom, not to mention the willingness to
wear polyester.
Older people are nudged out of jobs partly for financial reasons -- they often earn more than younger workers -- and
partly because of the myth that "you can't teach old dogs new tricks," a myth that has been spread all over the world
by packs of sneaky young dogs.
You CAN teach old dogs new tricks, sometimes faster than it would take to find a reliable young dog, one that won't run
helter-skelter after the first bone thrown its way.
Unfortunately, discrimination against old people is common outside the workplace, too. We just don't give old people an
equal chance. That's why it took 80-year-old actor Tony Randall many years to find a youngster willing to marry
him.
We often make fun of older drivers, forgetting that young drivers cause many accidents, too. Of course, such accidents
are partly the fault of automakers. They haven't equipped dashboards with dictionaries, so how do they expect young
drivers to understand words such as "merge" and "yield"?
Sixteen-year-old driver: "Hey, that sign said 'yield.' What the heck does that mean?"
Fifteen-year-old passenger: "How should I know? The only 'y' word I learned in school is 'yo.' I'll have to remember
'yield' the next time I play Scrabble."
I always find it strange when young people disrespect or mock old folks. After all, aging is inevitable, no matter
how many face lifts you can afford. In just a few decades, every youngster will be either old or dead. Those options
may both seem unpleasant, but you'd have a hard time convincing John Glenn. He'd rather be thousands of miles
above the earth than a few feet under. Wouldn't you?
Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based
writer and humorist. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia and has
lived in the United States since the early 1980s. To read more of his
humor, go to his website: http://MelvinDurai.com
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